Investigators’ Club Special


Part 1

“You’re sure it’s not happening today?”


“It is four in the morning and unlike some of our friends I like to get some sleep at night.”


“But you’re sure? Because the Baba Yaga said-”


“The Book does not make any mention of this day being any more important than any other. Now please let me get some sleep.”


Part 2

“But that vampire seemed to be in the know…”


“We’re not talking anymore. Because I killed him.”


“He never let anything slip beforehand about today?”


“I am currently tracking a troll. I have better things to worry about. Good night.”


Part 3

“Do you have any idea how much work this is?”


“Yeah but-”


“I have to wake up, wield more magical energy than you have probably dealt with in your lifetime to change my very physiology, dry myself enough that I won’t damage the phone, and this is the crap that you woke me up for?”


“Look I just need to know if any of your contacts in the sea have talked about any Cthulhu stirrings or-”


“For the last time I don’t even know what that is! Go back to bed!”


“Look, I’m just saying that if the world ends before I see the Doctor Who Christmas Special I am going to kick Quetzalcoatl in his feathered serpent balls.”


“…Good night Alan.”



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